8分雅思范文-穷人的孩子早当家

查看：1   发布日期：2013-02-03 21:48   发布人：张艳

8分范文

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

I do agree to the statement that children brought up in poor families are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents.

Children of poor parents are prematurely exposed to the problems of adult life eg. Learning to survive on a low family income and sacrificing luxuries for essential items. These children begin to see the ‘realities’ of life in their home or social environment. Their parents own struggles serve as an example to them.

These children are taught necessary skills for survival as an adult from a very early age. Many children eg work in the weekends or holidays to either collect some pocket money or even contribute to their families’ income. A good example is the many children who accompany their parents to sell produce at the market. They are making a direct contribution to their families in terms of labor or income.

Children of poor families also are highly motivated. They tend to set high goals to improve their economic and social situation. A relevant example would be Mr. Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft Corporation. He had an impoverished background but he used his talent and motivation to set up the worlds largest computer organization.

However, there are some problems that children from poor backgrounds do encounter. Many of these children who are ‘robbed’ of their childhood eg while working, may feel cheated. They often turn to crime. This, however, is a small group.

In summing up, children with impoverished backgrounds are able to deal with problems of adult life because of early exposure, family role models and shear motivation.  272

Band 8 考官评价

The topic is very well-addressed and the position is clear throughout. Main ideas are presented and well-supported, apart from some over-generalisation in the penultimate paragraph. The rubric is copied in the opening paragraph, but when this is deducted from the overall word count, the response is not under-length. The ideas and information are very well-organised and paragraphing is used appropriately throughout. The answer can be read with ease due to the sophisticated handling of cohesive devices – only the lack of an appropriate introduction and the minor error in the second use of ‘e.g.’ mars this aspect of the response. The writer uses a wide and very natural range of vocabulary with full flexibility. There are many examples of appropriate modification, collocation and precise vocabulary choice. Syntax is equally varied and sophisticated. There are only occasional errors in an otherwise very accurate answer.

后面附件的是考官的评价。这篇范文有它的问题。例如：照抄题目作为开头，还有举例子的时候的表达方式都是错的。还有后面有个比尔盖茨的例子也说的不是事实。但是文章逻辑清晰，有理有据。用词精确。有支持段，还有让步段。结尾写的总结也是体现了比较高级的概述能力。因此得了高分。整片文章通过给出论点，用例子解释的方式简单明了的阐述了自己的观点。读起来很顺畅。没有特别复杂的句型，也没有新奇的观点。大家仔细体会一下。

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